Her, not me
by peachyuu
Summary: " I like me when I'm trying to be a good person. " It's hard to abandon yourself. It's harder to abandon the self you're not. [ the Almost People, Donna, Tenth, oneshot ]


I happen to have this habit of inserting Donna into situations where she actually isn't present. It happens when you have favourites.  
The situation this time happens to be s6e5 / 6.  
I also happen to have a habit of writing fic when I have nothing better to do on a day. I actually did have better things to do today, but I didn't feel like doing them. who ever does?

not my best, and not proofread, as usual, because, one, I have no proofreader, and, two, I'm too lazy to do it myself. hopefully it's still enough for a person or two to enjoy it ... so, enjoy? ; c:

* * *

**Her, not me**  
[_ donna_ |_ ganger_ |_ ten_ ]

* * *

It was weird, watching yourself walk around. Or actually, correction, it wasn't weird, it was absolutely bonkers and not something she ever wanted to experience again ( having to look at herself from every possible angle _was_ making her feel a little self – conscious ), but Donna supposed it was her own fault. Of course she was curious. Of course she'd had to poke the flesh. Of course it had to be electrocuted and animated.  
Of course her clone had to come walking up to her now, looking extremely critical.  
" Does anyone ever tell me I look fat in this? " She asked, scrunching her nose up in disgust and eyeing the purple shirt Donna was wearing.  
" Oi! " This one retorted angrily.  
" Oi! " She got right back.  
" Well I'm _sorry_ I didn't feel like some waist – cinching_ blazer_ today, " She fired, irritably. " A woman wants to be comfortable sometimes, _okay_?! "  
The other sighed. " Yeah, alright, " She gave in, canting her head in admittance. " I know. "  
" Course you do, " Donna grinned, giving her another good look up and down. " You're _me_. "  
They just looked at each other for a moment, then chorused: " God, this is so _weird_. "  
Their synchronization had them uncharacteristically shut up for another moment, and then Flesh Donna seated herself next to the actual one, who sighed and ironed her cheeks. " No, seriously. It is, though. "  
" Thanks, " Was the only response she got.  
" What for? " She laughed.  
" You know what for, " Said the other, nodding at the head identical to hers.  
Donna waved a hand. " Oh come on, like I'm going to deny you're real. You got the same brain, right? I mean, what's _not_ real about you? "  
Second Donna furrowed her brows. " You know," She said after a moment," I got pretty accepting over time, didn't I? "  
Her addressee had to astoundedly sink that in for a moment. " Oh my god, I did, didn't I? " She gave another sigh, and then bobbed her head in the direction of the Doctor, who was standing small ways off, quietly arguing with the factory head. " Guess that's his fault. "  
She got a snort in return. " That's not the only thing that's _his fault_. "  
Donna laughed. " Ain't it? He's _such _a numpty. "  
" I knooow! " Gave other Donna. " Remember that time when he - "  
Then she clamped up.  
Both surprised and worried, Donna took her own arm – or actually, the arm of the person that looked identical to her. " What's wrong? "  
Shouldn't look down too much at a straight angle, she made a note to herself in the mean time. Makes my nose look bad.  
" No, nothing. " She flapped her hand around, clumsily, and then exhaled heavily. " It's just … you're gonna be off into the TARDIS again, soon, and me … I don't know. " She snuck the boss and her employees a glance. " I guess … I won't be here anymore, soon. "  
" Says who?! " Full of self – perceived righteous indignation, Donna turned the other in her seat, taking her firmly by the upper arms.  
She needed a moment to let the mirror – effect sink in before she could continue.  
" … Look, " She started, " I know half of these guys don't like you, but that doesn't mean we can _change_ their _mind_. I mean, if I can get through to Einstein knucklehead over there, I can handle a few measly humans! "  
" Do you really believe that? " She never realized how small exactly she sounded when she made that voice – and she hated it.  
There was nothing she could do against it, though. The her opposite her had not only the same looks, but also exactly the same mind. She couldn't go lying to her.  
Still she tried, with half a smile. " Of course. "  
The other quirked her eyebrows. " … You were just thinking you couldn't go lying to me, did you? Why are you trying? "  
Well, that had to be expected.  
She squeezed her arms. " You _know_ why I'm trying, " She responded.  
Donna two shook her head lightly. " Never thought I was gonna end up caring so much about other people … much less myself. " She rolled her eyes.  
" His fault, " Donna gestured.  
" His fault, " The second one grinned.  
" We can _try_ with him, though! " She then continued, as said, her further reassurance. " He might go bonkers with two of me in the TARDIS, but that's just because his skinny little life can't handle that much. But then he's just gotta man up, 'cos I'm not just leaving anyone behind. I'm not leaving _me_ behind. "  
They smiled at each other.  
" … Well, guess it's his fault he hasn't got enough flesh on his spazzy bones to deal with two. Maybe you're right, and muppet just has to shape up a bi - "  
" ohmygodhe's_kermit_, " Donna suddenly interrupted breathlessly.  
Both turned, one with her hands still near the others' shoulders, and the other with her palms on her counterpart's knees.  
It took a few seconds before the poor Doctor noticed the two pairs of eyes burning in his back, and then he turned slowly – and very awkwardly.  
It then only took a moment for the both of them to burst out in a thundering cackle.  
" Oh my god he's _Kermit_! " Screeched second Donna at the bench below her, completely in hysterics.  
" _Isn't he_?! " Was all the original could manage, clutching at herself, nearly falling off in her sway of laughter.  
" But wait. " Suddenly the Flesh copy cut her own hyena noises off, and peered up at herself – the self that now shut up equally quickly. " What does that make us? "  
After a long and uncomfortable silence, with the both of them already having realized their probable role, Donna just shook her head and gave a long, slow " Nooo_oooo _" .  
" I am _not_ - " The original topic starter began.  
" – not, not, not, not, _not_ - "  
Neither finished the sentence, just looking off, initially unwilling to admit it – before they both broke into a grin.  
" I'm miss Piggy, " Said the one.  
" _Pigs_ in _space_! " Said the other.  
By the time the Doctor finally dared to move over, afraid it was him they were laughing it, their wheezing fit had dissolved into merely profuse giggling.  
" Donna, " He spoke.  
They looked up, tittering. " Yeah? "  
Grunting, he pinched the bridge of his nose, and then rubbed his eye. " … Real Donna. "  
" Oi. " Immediately one of them went into the defensive, deeply furrowing her brows. " We're both just as real as you think just one of us is, _spaceman_. "  
Wondering if that sentence even made sense to anyone other than the two of them, he gave a groan, pocketing his hands.  
When he looked up again, his eyes were flat and serious. " Donna. Don't do this. "  
" Why not?! " It wasn't firing back – it was an indignated cannonball.  
" Because you can't stay with the two of you like this. "  
There he'd stepped the landmine. " Why does one of us have to go?! "  
" Not one of you, Donna. Just the one that's actually not you. "  
Suddenly, one of them bolted up. " Then why do _I_ have to go?! Who decided that?! Why can't there be two?! "  
Much to his astonishment, the other grabbed her by the wrist, and tried to pull her down again, looking as baffled as he was. " H – Hold on a minute! What do you mean, _you_?! It's _me_, isn't it?! "  
" Oh, yeah. _Wizard_. " The standing Donna looked frustrated. "Why are you pretending to be fake now? Why'd you do that?! It's _me_, not you! "  
" What?! Hold on a second there, _missy_, what exactly do you think you're trying to do?! What's to gain from this, saying you're not real while you are?! "  
" Well exactly, there's nothing to gain from that, is there?! If anything, I'd be saying I was real, but I'm not! Why would I go making up I'm fake?! "  
" I know why'd you go making up you're fake, 'cos I'm _you_, and I _know_, and you don't want anyone to _die_! "  
" No, I'm you, and guess what, I also know that I'm a coward, a big fat stupid coward, so you really think I could pull through with a plan that heroic?! "  
" You could. "  
That silenced the mouths and the wild gesturing of both the women. Looking equally astounded, they turned their heads towards the Doctor, who was pointing his screwdriver at the two of them, and looking very, very grave.  
" You could, Donna Noble, " He repeated, and then dropped his arm and raised the other to pull the one that had claimed to be the Flesh closer. " You could. You're doing it now. "  
" No, _no_! " She chanted at him, as if the negative was the mantra and he was the evil ghost. She shook her head and body equally wildly, trying to release herself from his grip. " No, you got it all wrong! I'm the clone! I'm not me! That's her! It's not _me_! "  
" Yes you are, " He countered, severe and almost biting. " Donna, _listen_ to me. Humans and Flesh give off slightly different signals, ever so slightly, but it is there - and I just scanned you. " He held up the screwdriver again, and it bleeped. " It's you. Not her. _You_. "  
She froze. Sagged. Looked utterly defeated.  
Flesh Donna lingered a few steps away, arms protectively wrapped around herself. Then she started smiling, just the slightest. " I like me when I'm trying to be a good person, " She murmured softly, eyes starting to well with tears.  
The same, naturally, happened to the actual Donna. " Doctor. " It was a choked whisper, as soft and desperate at the grasp at his arms. " You've _got_ to do something. You've _got_ to! "  
" I can't, Donna. " He spoke just as leaden as her heart sinking as far as the Mariana Trench was deep. " I wish I could, just as much as you, but there's nothing I _can_ do. I can't just drop you off somewhere, on some distance planet, but I can't drop you off back home, either. I … just can't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. "  
" But why can't you?! " She shook him lightly, powerlessly. " Why _can't _you just drop her off, somewhere, at some planet, some time,_ somewhere_, with Mum, with gramps, I don't know – just _somewhere_! "  
" Donna, we're all only born once - "  
" Then why are there two of me?! _Then why are there two of me, Doctor_?! " She was now finally screaming, attracting the attention of everyone else in the chapel, her voice echoing around the pillars and the high ceiling. " Look at her! _Look at her_! Look at her and tell me she's not just as real as I am! Tell me she's not me when she feels the same and looks the same and _she's just as real as me_! _Tell me_! **TELL ME**! "  
" It's okay. "  
All heads turned to the Flesh. She was still in exactly the same position, having regarded the whole scene unfold as such, her smile still sad and soft, face trickled with salt water. " It's okay, " She said again. " I got it. There can't be two of me walkin' around. Nobody _wants_ two of me walking around. " She emitted a crooked laugh, and then tried to fruitlessly dry her eyes on her bare arm, sniffing. When she looked up again, it was at her twin. " Thank you. "  
Donna stared.  
And then gripped at him as tight as the invisible hand cinching her throat now. " _Please_. "  
The Doctor stared too. First at her, long, and soft, then at the Flesh, harsher, and, lastly, at the ceiling, batting his eyes up in a prayer and a sigh that reverberated throughout his whole body. " I … could _try_ … "  
That was enough for Donna to start hiccupping with laughter through her sobs, toss her arms around his neck and then bury her face in the gap in between that and her own arm. " Thank you, thank you, oh my god _thank you_! "  
And as she let go, there was suddenly Donna 2, who, under some slightly urging of the first, did exactly the same.

Yet, as always promises made with just the best of intentions were made to be broken.

Nearly all of them were dead, one half or the other, which made that, to avoid completely losses, everyone subconsciously decided that any and all leftover sacrifices had to be made by those there were two of.  
Except Donna. Donna never wanted everyone to die. Donna never wanted _anyone_ to die.  
That was perhaps, or, most likely, even, a trait shared by others in the room, in particular the man cradling her back as she tried to pounce towards the two Gangers holding shut the door, but she was the only one giving voice to this desire through her actions. " What are you doing?! What are you doing?! Just run! It's right over there! The TARDIS is over there! You can make it! You can! Just _run_! "  
One of the doubles was Miranda in the acid suit, calmly holding the door shut.  
The other, doing the same, and wrecked just as much by Jenny pounding on the other end, was hers.  
" It's okay, " She said, barely audible over the roars. " It's _fine_. "  
" No it isn't! No it _isn't_! We said that it _wasn't_, we _established_ that is _wasn't_, and we were going to _do _something about it! " Furious and crying, she tried to spin around to face the one holding her back, nearly headbutting him in the process. " _You_ were going to do something about it! Doctor! _Doctor_! "  
He didn't even look at her, just at the one standing away from him, readily giving up her life like he feared Donna would do someday. It was why he'd treated her coldly, resigned himself and offered her no help to start with – because in monasteries filled to the brim with clones and acids and a very dangerous solar storm, somebody was bound to die, as nearly always happened when he was around. They always did, and he knew it. It was his curse. But he couldn't face the part of this particular curse where he lost a Donna Noble. " I'm so sorry. "  
And, as he had expected, she simply smiled.  
The one standing much closer wasn't. " _Do something_! " She screeched again. " Doctor, help them, _help them_, help them and _**DO SOMETHING**_! "  
He couldn't stop the trashing.  
She herself could.  
" Would you not start crying, Piggy?! " Somehow, though all of her force went into pressing the door, she squeezed out a laugh, already short of oxygen through poison gas and weeping. " Now … Now I'm gonna cry, too! "  
That's when he felt Donna crumple, her body dropping just as fast as her tears did hadn't he hauled her up in time. " _Something_. Just … _something_! … "  
" Thanks. " The Ganger looked at them, earnestly. " … You take such good care of me. Thanks. "  
And with his companion still in a sobbing heap, he dragged her the first last steps he needed before he could push her inside his craft – the same amount of steps needed before she started trashing again.  
He looked back, one fraction, and then shut the door.  
And Donna Noble two was rocked back by yet another smack, her goodbyes directed at the sound of the TARDIS taking off. " … Keep Kermit at bay good, will you? "  
Miranda shot her a quizzical look, and then went right back to business. " And what do we do now, then? "  
She let go, stepped back, and then knocked on the rattling door, once. " … Allons – y, ey? "


End file.
